Coincidence

Dear Toby,

Is it just a coincidence
That he decided to start living
Almost as soon as you had stopped?
Is it just a coincidence
That nobody saw him
In that hour you both were missing?
And now you are lost.
Gone to the other world,
The second,
And God forbid it but I wish
I wish you were still here and that
I knew what you were doing
I knew you were okay
I knew that you were safe.
And God forbid it but I hate
That you are gone now and that
I am all alone now
I am on my own now
And you are somewhere else.

Proud

Mother
Always used to sit with
Little brother in the bathroom
Reading magazines on the toilet
While he splashed with foam letters
In the smelly bubbly bath.
I was already grown up enough
To use the shower
And vain enough
Like a big sibling is
To boast about it,
To parade it around
Like a prize or an award:
‘Aunty! I can use the shower!
All alone!’
‘Yes dear, what a thing to be proud of!’
Proud I was.

Bedside

I whisper it. ‘Don’t touch her. Please.’

‘She’s my mother too.’

‘It doesn’t feel like it.’

He stares at me with eyebrows drawn low, hands clenched on the edge of the bed: crisp, icy sheets. Foreign, unreal. This was not meant to happen.

‘Fine,’ he says in a low voice. ‘I’ll just come back when you leave. We won’t have to speak to each other then.’

‘Like we’ve had so much practice doing for ten years?’ I shake my head. ‘You can leave – go ahead – but it’s too bad that I stay here every day, all through visiting hours. You can put up with me, or you can piss off.’ He doesn’t reply. ‘God knows I’d prefer the latter,’ I add, pointedly.

And like he always does, he disappears out of the door, out into the world. I might not see him again. I bloody hope not.

Injury Compensation

Just take the medicine
Doctor says, hesitant
Faced with the kicking
And screaming
Young boy.

Swallow it gently –
You don’t need plenty
To remove the pain
Of a missing
Left arm.

Take it – we’ll force it –
If you keep resisting.
You’ll go into shock –
Look at you rock
On your heels.